


Perversion

by RoyaiFan101



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Badass Riza Hawkeye, Gen, Peeping Tom, Rating due to situations and to be safe, Riza gives new meaning to the term Headshot, Secret Relationships, set post promised day but before the Team heads back East to Ishval
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 07:40:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23847580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyaiFan101/pseuds/RoyaiFan101
Summary: A Peeping Tom in Central Commands’ women’s showers proves that Riza is, once again, a badass with a gun.
Relationships: Rebecca Catalina/Jean Havoc, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	Perversion

No one was really sure how the man got into Central Head-Quarters. Dressed in a janitors uniform that _wasn’t his_ , the scrawny man, barely five feet in height, pushed the mop bucket down the hallway, searching for his target.

* * *

Meanwhile, two of the women in Amestris’ military were chatting and cackling, enjoying the hot water of their showers.

“I’m telling you Riza! Since Jean got the use of his legs back- _hot damn_!” Rebecca Catalina whooped, rinsing the conditioner from her hair.

“Seriously, Rebecca? You’re going to give me _nightmares_ with those mental images.” Riza scoffed, lathering her own body with her body wash, keeping her back against the shower wall.

Better for someone to pull the shower curtain back and see her breasts and womanhood then the secrets her and Roy share on her back.

“Don’t be such a prude, Riza!” Becca whined. “Not my fault you’re gonna die a virgin!”

“I haven’t been a virgin since I was _sixteen_ years old, fuck you very much!” Riza snarled, stomach clenching at the memory of her and Roy the night she showed him her Father’s research.

“Oh my God, my sweet little Riza _has_ had dick, and never told _mwah_ \- her best friend!? Bitch, I want details!” Rebecca cried, sticking her head out through her curtain, looking at Riza’s own shower across from her own.

Riza stuck her head out and glared at her best friend.

“I am not giving you details of my first time! Not _now_ , not _ever_!” She growled.

Rebecca pocked her tongue out at her, before finishing her own shower.

“Hey Becca, why don’t you maybe try finding someone else that will satisfy your desperate need for information that is none of your concern.” Riza huffed.

“But I wanna know about your details! Tell me _something_ about the guy that popped your cherry, and I’ll tell you how Jean had me bent and positioned last night.” Rebecca smirked.

“Nope!” Riza screamed.

Unknown to the two soldiers, the scraggly man was hidden behind a wall in the communal showers, waiting and watching, hoping to get a peak at just one of them.

Of course he would _never_ touch. Touching was bad- _very bad_. Touching _hurt_ people. But _looking_? No one was _ever_ hurt by being looked at.

The first one to step out was a pretty blonde. He concluded that she must’ve dried off in the decent sized stall, because only her short pixie cut hair was wet.

He felt his mouth water when her large and perky breasts bounced as she stepped out, reaching for a shelf next to her shower, grabbing a pair of black boy shorts. He watched with utter lust as she bent over, slipping her feet into the legs holes of her underwear, and pulled them up to cover the the nice curve of her ass and the small nest of blonde curls below her naval.

The second woman, with long curly dark hair, stepped out, wrapped up in a towel. The new woman looked the blonde up and down, a smirk gracing her lips.

“Nice tits, Reez.” She grinned, as Riza pulled a turtleneck over her head.

“ _Very_.” The man spoke, immediately realizing his mistake upon doing so.

Two heads snapped up at attention, and immediately turned towards the strange man spying on them.

“ _ **PERVERT!**_ ” The brunette screamed, as he ran out of the locker room as fast as he could, unknowingly being chased by the two women, a pistol in the blonde’s hand.

* * *

Meanwhile Roy Mustang And Jean Havoc we’re walking down the halls, chit chatting about nothing in particular as they made their way towards the office.

“I’m telling you Chief, _she’s the one_.” Jean gushed about Rebecca.

“Jean, you have said that about every girl you have gone on more then two dates with since I’ve met you.” Roy scoffed.

“Yeah about Becca’s _different_.”

“How so?”

“Well for starters, she was with me when I was still in that wheelchair. And she refused to allow me to pity myself because of it.” Jean pointed out.

“And? What else?” Roy asked, urging him on.

“I don’t have to worry about her leaving me for you.” Jean grinned, an unlit cigarette in his mouth.

“In fact,” Jean added “I gotta worry more about _Hawkeye_ then I do _you_.”

Roy let out a loud laugh. Jean was right. Rebecca would end up in a relationship with Riza before she did with him.

“Somebody grab him!” A shrill voice sounded out down the hall.

_Speaking of Rebecca Catalina..._

Out of nowhere, a man in a janitors uniform crashed into Jean, nearly knocking the recovered paraplegic to the ground, if it hadn’t been for Roy flinging his arm out to keep him steady. The man that crashed into Jean turned to see if the scary ladies were closing in on him.

Turning ended up being the _worst_ mistake of his life.

_Bang!_

The man let out a sharp cry, sinking to his knees, as blood oozed from the bullet wound in his crotch.

Jaws dropped and eyes wide, Roy Mustang and Jean Havoc turned their heads to the... injured janitor, to the source of the shot. Standing in the middle of the hallway, in a black turtleneck and black boy shorts, a 9mm handgun in her hand, was Riza Hawkeye.

And she was _livid_.

Her commanding officer and secret boyfriend, Roy Mustang, just stared at her in shock. He didn’t know what surprised him more, the fact that she shot a janitor in his... _manhood_ , or the fact that she was standing in her turtleneck and undies, in the middle of Central Command.

His eyes were locked on to her thighs. He _knew_ those thighs- _loved_ them. Just last night they were wrapped around his waist, this morning his head was between them. He just wasn’t used to seeing them at _work_.

“Damn Riza! You give new meaning to the term _head-shot_.” Jean cringed.

“ _Why_ did you shot the janitor?” Roy asked her calmly.

“He was spying on us in the locker room!” Rebecca screeched, walking up to them from behind Riza, clutching the towel to her chest.

“What all did he see?” Jean snarled, not liking a pervert staring at his girlfriend.

“ _Nothing_ of mine; practically _everything_ of Riza’s.” Rebecca scoffed.

“What?!” Roy snarled. Riza wasn’t sure what made Roy angrier, someone seeing the secrets on her skin, or someone seeing the front side of her naked.

“We wouldn’t have even known he was there, had the freak not commented on her tits.” She growled, eyes narrowed at the bleeding man.

“He responded to _your_ comment on them!” Riza scoffed, turning the safety of her gun back to _on_.

“I hope she blew your dick _off_!” Becca yelled at him.

It was then that Rebecca noticed something on the back of her best friend’s upper thigh.

“You have a tattoo on your butt?” She yelped, no longer concerned about the Peeping Tom.

Riza’s spine went ramrod.

“It is not on my butt! It’s on my leg!” She snapped.

“That’s not your leg! It’s your butt!” Rebecca corrected her.

“ _You_ are standing in _nothing but a towel_ , in the middle of Central Command, and you’re more concerned about a small tattoo _I_ have on my _leg_!?” Riza scoffed, crossing her arms.

“It’s on your _butt_!” Rebecca scoffed.

“Leg.” Riza growled, turning to walk back to the showers so she could finish getting dressed.

“Butt.”

“Leg!”

“Butt!”

“Leg!”

“The elastic part of your underwear covers part of it, so it’s on your _butt_!” Rebecca screamed, following her.

“I’m wearing boy shorts, Of course my underwear covers part of it. But it’s still on my _leg_!” Riza snarled over her shoulder.

Jean and Roy just stood there, confused as hell, as the MP’s dragged the bleeding pervert down the hallway in handcuffs.

**Author's Note:**

> So uhh... yeah... this is new... Riza's second tattoo is (according to Google) the Chinese symbol for fire 火  
> Since her and Roy’s relationship is secret, it’s pretty much her way of saying: “I’m his bitches.”


End file.
